


Close

by echocantspell



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Anxiety Attacks, Awkward Flirting, Bottom Saihara Shuichi, Boys In Love, Consensual Sex, Consent, Crying, Cuddling & Snuggling, Developing Relationship, Dom Oma Kokichi, Dom/sub, Eventual Relationships, Eventual Smut, Explicit Consent, Explicit Language, Explicit Sexual Content, First Kiss, First Time, Flirting, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, Kissing, Light Angst, Light Dom/sub, Loneliness, Lonely Saihara Shuichi, Loss of Virginity, Love Confessions, M/M, Making Out, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Nervous Saihara Shuichi, Panic Attacks, Protective Oma Kokichi, Romantic Fluff, Sharing Clothes, Sleepy Cuddles, Sub Saihara Shuichi, Teasing, Top Oma Kokichi, Touch-Starved, Touch-Starved Saihara Shuichi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-02
Updated: 2020-12-02
Packaged: 2021-03-09 22:55:37
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 18,379
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27834151
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/echocantspell/pseuds/echocantspell
Summary: He doesn't need to think twice about his answer. Ouma's touch is something he never realized he craved this much - but now that he finally has it, he feels more content than ever before.Saihara pulls Ouma's jacket over himself again, subconsciously sighing happily. He feels so relaxed and safe when Ouma's holding him. All his worries about the killing game they're trapped in disappear for the moment, and Saihara finally lets himself relax.(TW: Chapters 2 and 4 have detailed scenes of Panic attacks. The one in chapter 4 isn't as bad, though.)(CW: Chapter 4 has explicit sexual content)
Relationships: Oma Kokichi & Saihara Shuichi, Oma Kokichi/Saihara Shuichi
Comments: 38
Kudos: 374





	1. Safe

**Author's Note:**

> I'm back, hello hello!
> 
> This was only meant to be a fluffy oneshot, but i ended up getting carried away and writing WAY more than i intended to!
> 
> i hope you don't mind how much longer this is than my usual fanfics! 
> 
> Anyways, thank you for reading! I hope you enjoy!

"BOO!"

Saihara yelped and jumped backwards, tripping over his feet and landing on the ground.

Laughter erupts in front of him, and he groans when he realized the one to have startled him was none other than Ouma Kokichi, who had jumped out from behind a bush to scare him.

"Have a nice fall, Shuichi?" Ouma manages to speak through his giggles, wiping a tear from his eyes as Saihara glares at him from the ground.

"Kokichi! What are you doing out so late?!" Saihara asks in a hushed voice, rubbing his head where he hit it on the ground.

"I could ask you the same thing, Mister Detective! Nishishi..." Ouma laughs, reaching a hand out to help Saihara up. Saihara takes his hand and lets himself be pulled onto his feet.

Late at night, far after the nighttime announcement, Saihara had decided to take a walk to clear his thoughts. Really, he was terrified about the situation that he and fifteen other students had found themselves in, so he had been taking nightly walks to try and ease his anxiety and give himself time to think.

He and the other students had actually agreed a while ago to stay in their respective rooms after the monokubs' nighttime announcement, but he thought that taking a short walk to clear his thoughts wouldn't do any harm.

...He didn't really expect to be _caught,_ however. Much less by the Ultimate Supreme leader.

"I was just taking a walk... I guess I just needed some fresh air." Saihara responds after a few moments. Ouma scoffs from beside him.

"I thought we agreed not to leave our rooms after 10pm! Jeez, and I thought _you_ of all people would stick to that rule." Ouma starts walking to nowhere in particular, and Saihara finds himself walking with him. "How disappointing! I never would've taken you for a rule-breaker, Shuichi!"

"You were out this late too, Kokichi..." Saihara laughs quietly, rubbing his arms as the chilly night air blows against him.

Ouma gasps, pretending to be offended. "Are you calling me a rule-breaker, Saihara-chan?! How cruel!"

Saihara just giggles in response, knowing that that was just another one of Ouma's lies.

Ouma raises him arms and rests then behind his head, looking Saihara up and down as they walk together. "You're not exactly dressed for a night walk, you know. Is Shuichi that dumb?"

Saihara looks at his clothes, recalling his choice of an... outfit to wear this night. It was simply a T-Shirt and shorts, since he was planning to go to bed right after his walk. He didn't plan on how _cold_ it would be this night, though.

Saihara averts his gaze, crossing his arms over his chest and huffing. "I didn't think it would be this cold tonight..."

Ouma giggles, shaking his head playfully. "You look like a total dork, Shuichi! Great job if that was the look you were going for, Nishishi."

Ouma seemed to have prepared for the cold - well, either that or he just simply forgot to take off his day clothes. He was wearing what he usually would during the daytime; checkered scarf, white jacket, and white pants with useless thigh-straps.

"I would've worn a jacket if I knew it would be this cold..." Saihara huffs again, feeling dumb for not thinking of the idea sooner. "Hey... You still haven't told me what _you're_ doing out this late."

Ouma gasps again, bringing his arms down to cover his mouth in fake surprise. "Y-You're not going to snitch on me to the others, are you?! Oh no, I'm going to get in _sooooo_ much trouble!"

Saihara shakes his head, sighing. "No, I'm not going to tell the others, Kokichi. I'm just... curious."

"Hmmm... Well _maybe_ I just wanted some fresh air too! _Or_ maybe I was planning a murder! You'll never know which it is!" Ouma laughs, stuffing his hands in his pockets.

"...Are you worried about being trapped here too?" Saihara asks quietly after a moment, looking forward to avoid eye-contact.

Ouma doesn't respond, though a blank expression falls upon his face. He looks at Saihara, as if he was observing him as he spoke.

"...That's why I'm out here, at least. I just..... sometimes I need to get my mind off everything, so I take a walk. It's relaxing..." Saihara continues, not entirely sure why he was telling all this to Ouma.

...Though, part of him _did_ know why he was talking about this with Ouma. Despite Ouma's lies and mysterious nature, Saihara found himself able to trust the leader.

Ever since Ouma hurt himself while playing the knife game with Saihara, the detective realized that Ouma didn't want to hurt him. At least, he assumed that was why Ouma had always thrown the games they played, so that he would never have to 'kill' Saihara.

Saihara trusts him, perhaps more so than he _should_ trust somebody who lies as much as Ouma does.

Regardless, Saihara sighs sadly. "I don't know, maybe this doesn't relax me at all. Walking outside and seeing the wall built around us... it's kind of just a reminder that we're trapped here, isn't it?" He smiles, though it's not a happy smile.

"I'm scared." Saihara confesses, bringing his arms up to hug his arms again.

Out of the corner of his eye he can see Ouma staring at him with a still unreadable expression, and he's suddenly reminded that somebody was _listening_ to his anxieties.

"...I'm sorry, I didn't mean to push all my worries onto you so suddenly. Please, forget I said any of that." He laughs breathlessly, feeling numb after venting.

Ouma stops walking beside him, and Saihara turns back to look at him.

"I'm scared too."

Saihara's eyes widen, but he stays silent, unsure of how to respond.

He never would have expected Ouma to admit something like _that_ before, it just seemed too vulnerable of a thing for the leader to confess to...

"...I'm scared too. There, I said it." Ouma huffs and crosses his arms, averting his gaze. "So, uh, you're not alone, I guess."

Saihara still doesn't respond, simply staring at Ouma. The purplenette had never _truly_ opened up to him before, and he was at a loss for words. He cursed himself silently for not knowing what to say.

"...That's all. I'm not going to cry on you about my worries like you _totallyyy_ cried on me, Nishishishi!" Ouma laughs, suddenly back to his cheerful self. He rests his arms behind his head again.

Saihara smiles softly, though looks away from Ouma.

"Thank you for telling me that... I'm glad I'm not alone." Saihara whispers just loud enough for Ouma to hear.

The leader stares at Saihara for a few long moments, before he smiles. His smile is different this time in some strange way, in a way that makes it seem so much more genuine than his usual mischievous grins.

Saihara sighs, though this time it's a content sigh, rather than a sad one. He starts walking again to the same unspecified destination, and Ouma walks beside him.

The two fall into a comfortable silence. Saihara just enjoys Ouma's company and hopes that he's enjoying his as well.

Saihara and Ouma had been hanging out quite a lot lately during the day, and Saihara found himself wanting to spend more and more time with the leader.

The more time he spent with Ouma, the closer he felt he was getting to learning who he really was. He wants to know the Ouma behind the mask of lies, he wanted to know the _real_ Ouma Kokichi.

Even if he hadn't gotten to the point of knowing who the real Ouma was, he still felt like he was making progress just spending time with him.

Ouma had teased him before of himself 'always being on Saihara's mind', but that really wasn't as far from the truth as Saihara would like to admit.

He _had_ been thinking about Ouma _quite_ a lot lately...

And he knew _exactly_ why he couldn't stop thinking about him, although he wasn't quite ready to admit to it yet...

"What's on Shuichi's mind, I wonder?" Ouma asks suddenly, breaking the silence that had fallen upon them.

Saihara blushes and glances away, too embarrassed to confess that he was thinking about Ouma. "N-Nothing much, I suppose I'm just thinking about how cold it is tonight."

Ouma hums, like he was unsure of what to respond with. As if to further accentuate his point, a cold gust of wind brings a shiver to Saihara, and he hugs himself again.

Ouma quietly stares at him for a moment, as if he were considering something.

Saihara feels his blush worsen the longer Ouma stares at him, so he clears his throat and looks towards the sky. "I wonder what Kokichi is thinking about..." He says aloud, indirectly asking Ouma for his own thoughts in an effort to change the subject.

"Oh, that's easy. I'm thinking about my beloved Shuichi, as usual! Nishishi!" Ouma laughs, and Saihara considers admitting that he was thinking of the other boy as well, but he decides against it, assuming that Ouma was simply lying again.

The detective feels his face redden _even further,_ as it often seemed to do when he was with Ouma. Saihara rubs his arms in an attempt to warm himself up.

Ouma stares at him again, an unreadable expression falling upon his features once more. Before Saihara can ask him if something was wrong, Ouma sighs and starts to unclip his jacket.

Saihara slows to a halt in his confusion, turning towards Ouma as he watches him take his jacket off. "What are you doing? You know how cold it is, you should keep your jacket on." Saihara comments quietly, furrowing his brows in concern.

Ouma doesn't respond verbally - instead, he steps behind Saihara and wraps his jacket around the detective's shoulders. Saihara is blushing so much at this point he's _sure_ Ouma's noticed by now.

"H-Huh...? B-But, you need it...! I can manage without it, I-I'm sure you're cold too-"

"You're cold, Shuichi." Ouma interrupts, though he looks away and Saihara _swears_ he sees a blush on the leader's cheeks. "You're cold, and you're wearing a T-shirt and shorts."

Saihara huffs. "B-But you'll get cold too! R-Really, Kokichi-"

Ouma interrupts him again. "I'm wearing a scarf and long sleeves, Shu. I'll be fine, really." Ouma laughs quietly, though still avoiding eye-contact.

Saihara realizes that he's right. Ouma was wearing a long-sleeved purple shirt under his jacket, and he didn't seem to be that bothered by the cold at all. Saihara blushes, and finally lets himself wrap the jacket tighter around himself.

".....I-If you're sure it's okay..." Ouma grins, nodding and starting to walk again as Saihara walks beside him.

The jacket... smells like Ouma, Saihara notes to himself. It's embarrassing that he recognizes the scent of Ouma so well, but he finds it comforting nonetheless. Ouma's about six inches shorter than him, but the jacket doesn't seem that small. It was a bit big on Ouma too, though.

His legs are still cold, but he can't find it in himself to care. He's more focused on the warmth and comfort the jacket over his shoulders brings him. He cuddles into it subconsciously, pulling it over his chest to engulf his arms.

Ouma's staring at him again, though Saihara finds that he doesn't mind.

"...Thank you, Kokichi." Saihara says quietly, letting his eyes shut for a moment as he takes in the feeling of warmth and safety Ouma's jacket brings to him.

"...Yeah." Ouma's expression is blank again, but this time Saihara's _certain_ he sees a blush on the leader's cheeks.

Ouma clears his throat and looks away as if he only just then realized that he was staring. He glaces around the courtyard awkwardly.

"...Hey, I'm getting a little tired from walking so much. Wanna sit on one of the benches for a bit and relax?" Ouma asks quietly, then adds another sentence more hurriedly, as if he nearly forgot to say it. "Jeez, Saihara-chan is making me walk around _so_ much, I'm _exhausted!"_

Saihars laughs, nodding his head in affirmation. Ouma leads him over to one of the benches near the student dormitory, and they sit on it together.

"...If you really are tired, you don't have to keep walking with me, you know." Saihara comments, a small smile upon his face. "I don't mind if you need to go to bed, Kokichi."

"An Ultimate Supreme Leader of evil never needs sleep, Shuichi! Nishishi!" Ouma grins, just as energetically as usual. Saihara giggles.

"Alright, if you're sure." Saihara pulls Ouma's jacket closer to himself, sighing contentedly.

Ouma stares at him _again,_ and Saihara breaks out in giggles when he catches him this time.

"W-What? What are you laughing at, Shuichi?!" Ouma scoffs, crossing his arms in embarassment.

Saihara tries to stop giggling. "S-Sorry, sorry! You've just been staring at me a lot tonight, Kokichi. You're not as discreet about it as you think..."

"Well, jeez! I wouldn't be staring at you so much if you weren't so damn _cute!"_

When Ouma realizes what he'd said, his eyes _widen_ and his face _flushes_. Saihara can feel his own face sting with a _heavy_ blush, and he gasps once he's processed what Ouma said.

They're both silent for a moment, and Saihara wonders if Ouma was panicking internally as much as he was.

"U-Uh, _fuck_ _._ I d-didn't mean to say that - uh - _shit_ -" Ouma runs a hand through his hair nervously, and Saihara finds himself giggling _again._

After a few moments, Ouma relaxes and joins in, laughing along with Saihara. The initial embarassment of the moment fades, and the tension disappears. Saihara realizes that his stress has disappeared at this point too, and he finds himself able to relax and feel _safe_ for the first time in a long while.

He's never realized just how safe he feels when he's around Ouma until now. He feels so comfortable, so _relaxed._ Even if Ouma had just flustered him by accidentally calling him _cute,_ Saihara found that he didn't mind how much his heart was racing.

Usually when his heart races, it's terrifying - because usually, it's from his anxiety and _fear._ But now, when he's with Ouma - he's not scared at all. His heart isn't racing out of _panic_ , for once.

It's racing because he's with _Ouma_.

Finally, after a few minutes, the two calm down from laughing so much. Saihara sighs, his face hurts from how much he's been smiling tonight.

"...So, you think I'm cute?" Saihara asks boldly, though a blush still stings at his cheeks.

"Jeez, what gave you that idea, mister detective?" Ouma laughs, and Saihara giggles with him. "...Ugh, by the way. You look _horrible_ in my jacket, I _totallyyyy_ never want to see you wear it _ever_ again!"

Saihara smiles knowingly. "Is that a lie?"

Ouma giggles, rubbing the back of his neck, perhaps bashfully. "Ah, jeez, you caught me again, detective! I can't hide anything from you, can I?"

Ouma grins, and Saihara thinks that maybe the leader actually _likes_ that he can read through his lies.

"A-Ah, so you _do_ think I look nice in your jacket..." Saihara comments, shyly smiling.

Ouma _grins,_ and he leans closer. He moves an arm behind Saihara and rests it beside him. Saihara bites his lip as he feels it brush against his side.

"...Think of what I said as the direct opposite of what I really meant, Mister Detective." Saihara's face flushes as subconsciously leans closer to the other boy. "I said you look horrible in my jacket, so what's the opposite of that?"

Saihara raises a brow in interest. "T-The opposite of that would be that... you think I look.... nice..." He's breathless at this point, not used to being so _close_ to Ouma.

"Good. Now what's the opposite of 'I never want to see you wear it again?'"

"...Th-That would be... You _want_ to see me wear it... again..."

Ouma nods, a playful smirk on his lips. "Exactly. good job, Mister Detective!" Ouma leans impossibly close to Saihara, and the detective finds himself staring at the other's lips. "...I _really_ like how you look in my jacket, and I wouldn't mind seeing you in it again sometime."

Saihara's breathless, subconsciously pulling the jacket around himself. Ouma's lips look so _soft,_ and he finds himself wanting to lean closer just to find out if they were as soft as they looked.

Before he can muster up the courage to try testing the theory, however, Ouma leans back and away from him with a quiet laugh. Though Ouma's not as close to him as before, he's kept his arm where it rests beside Saihara. The bluenette realizes quickly that he misses being as close to Ouma as he was a moment ago...

"Jeez, Shuichi's too cute that I'm getting sick of looking at him! How annoying..." Ouma groans, clearly faking disappointment.

Saihara smiles, and decides to make a move before he loses the chance. He leans against Ouma's shoulder and rests his head against it. Ouma's expression has gone unreadable again, but Saihara doesn't take it as bad sign.

Being so close to Ouma again, Saihara _swears_ he can hear the leader nervously gulp. After a moment's hesitation, Ouma tentatively moves his arm to gently rest on Saihara's waist, and the detective _finally_ feels satisfied with being close to him again.

"...Is this okay?" Ouma asks in a whisper so quiet he almost doesn't catch it. Saihara giggles quietly, and lets his eyes shut.

"Yeah..."

He doesn't need to think twice about his answer. Ouma's touch is something he never realized he craved this much - but now that he finally has it, he feels more content than ever before.

Saihara pulls Ouma's jacket over himself again, subconsciously sighing happily. He feels so relaxed and _safe_ when Ouma's holding him. All his worries about the killing game they're trapped in disappear for the moment, and Saihara finally lets himself relax.

He wants to lean down further to rest his head on Ouma's chest and listen to his heartbeat, or even go as far as to climb into his lap and curl up against him. He's so close to Ouma, and yet he wants to be closer. It's a feeling unfamiliar to Saihara, but it's not necessarily a bad feeling.

Ouma's arm around his waist offers a feeling of _protection_ and _warmth_ , he's completely forgotten that his legs are exposed to the cold air.

"...Hey, Shuichi?" Ouma says quietly, drawing Saihara out of his thoughts.

"Hmm?" Saihara hums, feeling too relaxed and sleepy to form a proper response.

Ouma's hand traces gentle circles onto his side, and Saihara feels like he could fall asleep just from the feeling.

"...How would you feel about sleeping in my room tonight?" Ouma mutters, though Saihara hears him all too well. The bluenette smiles against his shoulder.

"...That sounds really nice, if you wouldn't mind....."

Ouma sighs, and Saihara wonders if it's a relieved sigh. Maybe the leader was nervous to ask him that.

"I wouldn't mind at all, my beloved."

Butterflies flutter in Saihara's stomach when he hears Ouma's reply. He's used to Ouma calling him 'my beloved' in a playful or teasing way, but this time it felt... _different._ It didn't seem like a lie at all, for the first time.

Spending the night with Ouma...

Saihara feels a bit giddy, just from the idea. Maybe tonight, he won't feel scared to fall asleep. Maybe he'll sleep well for the first time since he entered this school.

  
  



	2. You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Jeez, you sound like Kirumi. Yeah, I'll get some sleep tonight... as long as you do too." Ouma adds the last part quietly, glancing away for a moment.
> 
> "Mhmm, I will, Kokichi. I'm really sleepy already." Saihara crosses his arms and rests his chin on them, looking up at Ouma through his lashes. "...I feel really relaxed after spending time with you and talking to you... thank you for tonight, Kichi."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: This chapter has a kind of detailed scene of a panic attack! Please read with caution if you're sensitive to that sort of thing. <3

After a bit longer of sitting together on the bench, Saihara feels like he's about to fall asleep. He hasn't felt this relaxed in a long time, so he's not surprised that he's so sleepy.

Saihara presses his face into Ouma's shoulder, sighing contentedly. Ouma's hand traces gentle circles on his waist, rubbing softly and Saihara smiles contentedly at the feeling.

Ouma brushes Saihara's bangs out of his face with his free hand, and the detective can tell he's getting tired too.

He doesn't want to move from his spot against Ouma's shoulder though, and he definitely doesn't want Ouma to stop holding him either. He just hopes that they can be as close as this when they go to Ouma's room for the night...

It seems like Ouma was thinking about heading to his room as well, since he leans down to quiety say, "You seem like you're about to fall asleep, Shumai. Do you want to head to my room now?"

Saihara nods sleepily, reluctantly moving so Ouma can stand up. He already misses Ouma's touch...

Ouma giggles as Saihara rubs his eyes. "Am I gonna have to carry you to my room, mister detective?"

Saihara laughs, standing up slowly. "I doubt you can actually pick me up, but that won't be necessary."

Ouma _grins._

The leader steps forward and pulls Saihara into his arms with confidence. It's embarassing how easy it is for Ouma to pick him up... The detective yelps in surprise when Ouma starts walking towards the student dormitory, carrying Saihara bridal-style with _ease._

"H-How...?! How can you...?!" Ouma snickers in his signature laugh at Saihara's surprise, easily pulling the detective closer to his chest as if to show off.

"Looks can be deceiving, my beloved Saihara-chan!"

Saihara huffs in embarassment, though silently cherishing that he gets to be close to Ouma again. When they were sitting on the bench together, Saihara wanted to rest his head on the leader's chest to listen to his heartbeart, and now he has that chance...

He leans his head against Ouma's chest, sighing contentedly when hears Ouma's heart. It's so relaxing, it makes him feel so _safe._

Maybe it's silly, but just knowing that Ouma was strong enough to carry him made him feel even safer. It made him feel like Ouma could protect him.

Unfortunately, Saihara doesn't get to listen to the leader's heartbeat for long, since he reaches his room in a short time. Ouma carefully sets Saihara down onto his feet so he can fish his roomkey out of his pocket.

As Ouma unlocks the door to his room, Saihara remembers that he's still wearing Ouma's jacket... He doesn't feel like giving it back quite yet, though.

Ouma doesn't turn the light on in his room when he enters, but instead just shuts the door quietly behind them.

"Sorry about the mess, Nishishi..." Ouma says, pushing a few boxes on the floor out of the way. Saihara finds himself _very_ curious of the contents of the boxes, but decides not to ask of it. He's too sleepy to care, at this point.

"I'm gonna get changed into some sleep clothes, okay? You can rest on the bed, I'll be back in a few minutes." Ouma says, before pulling some clothes out of his closet.

Saihara smiles, nodding quietly. Ouma shuffles into his bathroom after letting Saihara know where he was going.

Now would be the perfect time to snoop through those boxes on the floor, and use his detective skills to learn more about Ouma _this way._ But Saihara decides against it. Not _just_ because he's tired, but also because he doesn't want to invade Ouma's privacy.

He laughs to himself quietly. What a detective he is...

Saihara lays down onto Ouma's bed, making himself comfortable. He wouldn't have expected Ouma to trust him enough to let him in his room, but he was grateful for the progress he's made with him.

One of Saihara's theories for why Ouma lies so much, is that the leader deals with some trusts issues. That's another reason he didn't want to snoop through his boxes; if he did that he would probably lose the trust Ouma's put into him by letting him in his room.

Ouma must trust him at least a _bit_ at this point, right? He admitted to Saihara that he was just as scared as he was about the killing game, he let him stay in his room for the night, he let Saihara cuddle against him on a bench outside, he even lended Saihara his jacket!

...Saihara's reminded again that he's still wearing Ouma's jacket. He still doesn't want to take it off, but he knows he'll have to sooner or later.

While he can still wear it, however, Saihara decides to take advantage of it. He slowly moves the jacket from over his shoulders and slips his arms into the sleeves. The clips on the front of Ouma's jacket are weird and confusing, so he doesn't bother trying to fiddle with them to close the jacket.

...The jacket is a bit... big on Saihara? It isn't _that_ big, but it was certainly a surprise, since Ouma was quite a bit shorter than him. He expected the jacket not to fit, since that just seemed to make sense with their height-difference...

He doesn't mind that it's a bit big on him at all, though. It did always seem a little big on Ouma too, but seeing the sleeves over his own hands was an entirely different feeling...

...He feels so _safe._ It's so comfortable, and the smell is so _Ouma._ He hugs himself, imagining that Ouma was holding him instead of the jacket. He face flushes at the idea, and he whines quietly in embarassment.

He hears the bathroom door open, and Ouma stepping out. Saihara freezes for a moment, wondering if he should take off the jacket now, but he found himself _still_ not wanting to.

He didn't want to give up this warm and protected feeling this jacket brought to him yet.

He hears Ouma quietly step towards the bed, and he turns around to look at him. Ouma smiles sheepishly.

"Sorry, did I wake you up?" He asks, laughing softly as he sits beside Saihara on the bed.

"No, don't worry, I haven't fallen asleep yet." Saihara replies, rubbing his eyes again as he realizes just how exhausted he really is.

Ouma giggles, and Saihara takes the moment to observe the leader. He had changed into a white T-shirt and dark shorts. Saihara notices that he has bags under his eyes and wonders how he didn't notice them before. He reaches a hand up to gently brush under Ouma's eye without thinking.

"...You have bags under your eyes." Saihara states the obvious, brows knitted in concern. "Have you not been sleeping well?"

Ouma just smiles playfully. "Like I said earlier, the Ultimate Supreme Leader of evil doesn't need sleep, Nishishi!"

Saihara assumes that's his cue to laugh, but he just frowns and pulls his hand away slowly. He rolls over to face Ouma fully and looks up at him.

"Sleep is important, you know. You're going to get some sleep tonight, right?" Saihara pouts, and he notices Ouma blush.

"Jeez, you sound like Kirumi. Yeah, I'll get some sleep tonight... as long as you do too." Ouma adds the last part quietly, glancing away for a moment.

"Mhmm, I will, Kokichi. I'm really sleepy already." Saihara crosses his arms and rests his chin on them, looking up at Ouma through his lashes. "...I feel really relaxed after spending time with you and talking to you... thank you for tonight, Kichi."

Saihara added the nickname without thinking, and he averts his gaze when he noticed it slip. He can see Ouma's face flush from the corner of his eyes.

"U-Uh.... Y-Yeah... No problem." Ouma mutters nervously, and Saihara's reminded of when Ouma got so embarrassed after accidentally calling him cute. 

Saihara feels too tired and relaxed to be anxious or back out of about what he's about to say, he decides that he'd just deal with it in the morning if it didn't go well. So, he smiles up at Ouma and quietly speaks.

"...B-By the way, Kokichi... I think you're cute too."

There's that blank stare of Ouma's again, though not _completely_ unreadable, for once. There's a noticeable blush upon Ouma's cheeks, so he takes that as a good sign.

After a few moments of complete silent, Ouma breaks it with a snort. He starts giggling and Saihara finds himself giggling with him again.

When Ouma laughs like _this,_ it's not like his signature laugh. It's not a lie, and he can tell. It's a genuine, embarrassed, _happy_ laugh, and _Saihara_ has the pleasure of hearing it.

Once they calm down from laughing again, Ouma sighs and lays down beside Saihara. He rolls onto his side so he's looking at him, and Saihara finds himself wanting to be closer again.

"...You're adorable, Shuichi. I hope you know that." Ouma hesitates for a moment before adding, "And that's the truth."

Saihara blushes again, whining as he buries his face in his hands. He's _beyond_ flustered now.

Ouma giggles and scoots a bit closer to put a hand on Saihara's arm gently. "Jeez, I finally tell the truth for once and Shuichi gets all embarrassed, how rude of him to hide his face from me!"

Saihara's mildy aware of Ouma implying that didn't want him to hide his face. but he's more aware of the hand on his arm...

He feels weird for craving Ouma's touch so much, he didn't realize how touch-starved he was until Ouma held him on the bench earlier...

Before Saihara can think, Ouma gently takes his hands into his own and moves them away from his face. Ouma brushes his bangs out of his face and Saihara feels his heart _flutter._

Ouma smiles at him, in such a gentle and caring smile. Saihara shakily smiles back at him, though he's more so hyperfocused on the fact that Ouma still hadn't let go of one of his hands.

Ouma sighs contentedly after a few moments of staring into eachother's eyes, then he rolls onto his back and lets go of Saihara's hand.

That feeling of dissatisfaction and craving his touch returns, and he feels something like shame burn in his stomach. He felt so selfish for wanting to be touched by him so badly.

Saihara huffs without thinking, and Ouma hums and tilts his head to look at him. Saihara stares at him for a few moments, part of him secretly hoping that Ouma would take the hint and realize what he wanted.

Thankfully. Ouma's always been quite good at reading him - so the leader giggles and holds his arms out, as if offering a hug.

But Saihara wanted _more_ than just a hug. He wanted to get as _close_ Ouma as he could.

At this point he felt too impatient to just hope Ouma would get the hint. So, Saihara sits up and moves beside Ouma. Saihara gently moves himself to lay sideways on Ouma's lap and curls up against his chest, just as he wanted so badly to do before.

Saihara worries for a moment that his weight might be too much for Ouma, but thankfully he seems fine with it. Ouma laughs quietly after a few moments and wraps his arms around Saihara's waist, pulling Saihara closer to his chest in the process.

Saihara leans his head against Ouma's chest at the same place he heard his heart earlier. Once he's found the perfect spot to listen to Ouma's heartbeat, he sighs happily.

"I'm not too heavy, am I?" Saihara asks after a moment, wanting to make sure he wasn't crushing the other with his weight.

"Not at all, my beloved! You're very light, _extremely_ easy to carry by the way!" Ouma frowns suddenly. "...You _are_ getting enough to eat, right?

Saihara presses his face into Ouma's chest so he doesn't have to make eye-contact. "...I _have_ been skipping a few meals lately, but not intentionally. I think it's just the stress that's made me lose my appetite."

"Saihara-chan." Ouma says, suddenly sounding _very_ serious. "From now on I'm not allowing you to skip _any_ meals. Your health is important, believe it or _not."_

Saihara's face flushes for the umpteenth time that night. "S-Since when were you so worried about me...?"

Ouma huffs. "If you want me to get some sleep, then _you're_ going to have to eat better." The leader moves his arm to pet the dark locks of Saihara's hair.

"...Maybe this is all part of my plan, though. I _pretend_ to be worried that you're not eating enough, so I make you a meal - _but_ I've poisoned the food!" Ouma laughs in his signature laugh. "I was never worried about you, I just wanted to use the chance to poison you and kill you! Nishishi!"

Saihara doesn't bother to call him out on the obvious lie, so he just sighs quiety. He starts absentmindedly tracing circles on Ouma's chest over his shirt.

Part of him can't believe he's in Ouma's room right now, _cuddling_ with him - not to mention the fact that he's _still_ wearing his jacket. He just wants to melt in Ouma's arms, and forget about everything else while he has the chance.

Another part of him was scared that Ouma would regret opening up to him in the morning. Ouma's shown him more affection tonight then he's showed any of the other students, and Saihara was scared that he'd regret it all.

He decides to just cherish the moment while he still can, however. If Ouma never wanted to talk to him again after this, he wasn't ready to worry about it.

Saihara hums contentedly, a hand reaching to grip Ouma's shirt. He doesn't know why he's gripping it, but it's comforting to feel him there. It's like a reminder that he's not alone.

"...Has Shuichi stolen my jacket from me completely?" Ouma giggles quietly, though Saihara's face immediately _flushes._

"A-Ah! I-I'm sorry, I-I can take it off now, I'm sorry." Saihara sits up, though flusters when he realizes he's basically straddling Ouma's lap now that he's not laying on his chest.

Before Saihara can try to slip Ouma's jacket off, Ouma laughs and grabs his hands to stop him. "Keep it as long as you like, Shumai. It looks cute on you, and like I said earlier - I _really_ like the way you look in it."

Saihara's face _burns_ with embarrassment. He buries his face in his hands and groans.

Ouma giggles again, letting his arms fall to rest on Saihara's legs. "It's kind of unfair how you look better than I do in my own jacket! _Soooo_ unfair!"

Saihara uncovers his face, though his face is still bright red as he's reminded of the postion they're in. Ouma doesn't seem to mind, though, as he just grins up at him playfully.

"S-So embarrassing..." Saihara mumbles, before moving to lay back down. He curls up against Ouma in the same position as before, relieved now that he can hide his flushed face in Ouma's chest again.

"...I-I'll return it to you in the morning, then, if you don't mind me wearing it tonight...." Saihara says quietly, subconsciously gripping Ouma's shirt just as he did before.

"I don't mind at all, my beloved Shuichi, Nishishi!" Ouma wraps his arms back around Saihara, pulling him impossibly close to his chest. Saihara finds himself wondering if he did that because he wants to be as close as Saihara does.

Being held by Ouma in his bed, wearing his jacket, listening to his heartbeat - it all makes Saihara feel so _safe._

Even before being trapped in a killing game, Saihara can't remember the last time he felt this _protected._

"...Thank you for today, Kokichi." He whispers into Ouma's chest, letting his eyes fall shut. "I feel really.... safe... thanks to you."

Saihara blushes when he notices Ouma's heartrate speed up just a bit. He nuzzles his face closer to listen to the calming sound.

"...You shouldn't feel safe around an _evil_ Supreme Leader, Nishishi." Ouma comments playfully, though he sounds a bit breathless. "Who knows when I might strike and betray you..."

Saihara giggles, and doesn't hesitate to reply.

"I trust you."

Ouma's breath hitches, and this time Saihara feels his _own_ heartrate speed up.

"...You shouldn't." Ouma responds quietly, but Saihara just shakes his head.

"Maybe not, but I do. And that's the truth." Saihara smiles softly. "You don't have to trust me back." Saihara adds, just in case his theory about Ouma having trust issues was true.

"...That's the part that scares me. I _do_ trust you, Shuichi." Ouma mumbles just barely loud enough to hear, and Saihara shivers involuntarily. "I don't know why or when I started to trust you, but I do."

Saihara laughs quietly, burying his face into Ouma's shirt. "I don't entirely know when I started to trust you either, but I might have an idea as to why..." Saihara added the last sentence without thinking, but he knows it's too late to take back. He just hopes that Ouma doesn't ask about it...

Thankfully, Ouma doesn't. After a few moments of silence, the leader giggles.

"Okay, _maybe_ I know why I trust you too." Saihara blushes, _hoping_ that Ouma's implying what he thinks he's implying.

The detective whines, shaking his head in embarassment. Ouma giggles above him.

"Care to share your reason why, mister detective?" Ouma asks teasingly, gently moving a hand to cup Saihara's cheek so he has no choice but to look at him.

Ouma _smirks,_ and Saihara's sure the leader knows how he feels at this point. He's not ready to admit it to the him yet, though. So he just whines again and buries his face back into Ouma's chest.

"Awww, is Shuichi gonna keep it a secret from me? How rude!" Ouma laughs, and cups Saihara's cheeks with _both_ hands this time so he can't just look away. "C'mon, I wanna know why!"

Saihara feels butterflies in his stomach again, and he clenches his eyes shut. It's just so _embarassing...._

"I-I can't just.... tell you....." Saihara manages to get out. He's hearts racing again, but this time it's not a pleasant feeling like before. He feels like he's panicking, and he feels the fear crawl back into his body. "I-I can't... just...."

The fear that he was so thankful for disappearing has returned, and the anxiety is back at full force.

He wants to feel safe again, like when he could hear Ouma's steady heartbeat. Now that Ouma's cupping his cheeks to make him face him, however, he can't hear Ouma's heartbeat to calm himself down. "I can't...."

All he can feel is his own heart _racing_ , and his anxieties returning.

He doesn't want Ouma to see him like this, so he keeps his eyes shut. He can't see him, but that just makes him feel even more scared. He can't see that Ouma's there, he can't see that he's not alone. He can't hear Ouma's heartbeat to know he's there, he can't _hear_ that he's not alone.

He doesn't want to open his eyes and be forced to see Ouma's reaction in front of him. He wants so badly to know that he's there with him, but he doesn't want to see the _look_ in Ouma's eyes when he's _panicking like this._ "I'm.... sorry...."

It's times like this when he wishes he still had his hat. 

The hat gave him comfort in not having to see the look in someone's eyes when he disappoints them. He'd give _anything_ to have that hat now so that he wouldn't have to open his eyes to see Ouma's judgmental stare as he falls apart

He feels a hand on his cheek slowly start to stroke his face with its thumb. It takes a moment for him to remember that that's Ouma's hand, and he almost flinches at the touch.

"Hey... Shuichi, it's okay. You don't have to tell me why you trust me, it's alright." Ouma's voice sounds genuinely _worried,_ but Saihara's not ready to open his eyes to see the look on his face.

"Hey, look at me." Saihara doesn't move. "...Please, Shuichi?"

Ouma sounds... so concerned. Ouma's voice sounds concerned. That's _Ouma's_ voice he's hearing, sounding _concerned._

Saihara opens his eyes slowly, and he's greeted with a pair of worried violet eyes.

_Ouma..._

"You're okay, Shuichi. It's okay." Ouma assures. Saihara's only mildy aware of his eyes stinging. "I'm here."

"Kokichi..." Saihara whispers, before finally feeling himself be brought back to reality. "A-Ah, I...."

He doesn't know how to explain what just happened. He's too scared to see the look on Ouma's face when he explains that he's having a panic attack over Ouma asking him a damn _question._

He feels so _stupid._

"You're okay, Shuichi. I'm here to make sure you're okay." Ouma brushes Saihara's bangs out of his face. "You're in my room, and I'm here with you. It's okay."

Ouma... seems to know what he's doing. Saihara sighs, assuming that the leader knows what's going on. "I'm.... I-I'm sorry about... that... I-I'm just...."

Saihara takes a deep breath, hoping to help steady his breathing.

"I'm not... ready. T-To talk about.... it...." Ouma pets Saihara's hair gently.

"You're not ready to talk about why you trust me, or what just happened?" Ouma asks in a soft voice, wanting confirmation.

"U-Um, both I guess.... I-I'm sure you know why I trust y-you, at this point..." Ouma hesitates, before nodding slowly.

"I... I might have an idea." Ouma says quietly, pretty much confirming to Saihara that he was aware of his feelings for the leader, as _that_ was the reason he trusted him.

"I-I'm just, I'm not ready to.... _say_ the reason why... out loud, yet. I'm... I'm sorry. I kind of panicked when you asked me because of that..." Saihara sighs, feeling dumb for getting so scared over something like this.

At this point, it seems to Saihara that the feelings are mutual by how Ouma's acted tonight, but he still finds himself too scared to move on to the next step of actually _confessing_ and talking about it.

Ouma smiles. "Hey, it's okay. You can take as long as you need until you're ready to talk about it." Ouma reaches down to take Saihara's hand in his own. "I'll be willing to wait as long as it takes for you to be ready, okay? It's okay."

Saihara feels himself tear up a bit, so he wraps his arms around Ouma's neck to hide his face in his shoulder.

"Th-Thank you, Kichi...."

The nickname slipped out by accident again, but Saihara didn't regret calling Ouma by it. He just blushes as Ouma wraps his arms around his waist.

"Of course, my beloved." Ouma hesitates, before asking quietly, "I'm sorry for making you uncomfortable, I shouldn't have asked that question."

Saihara sighs, smiling softly into Ouma's shoulder. "It's okay. I'm sorry I panicked so much over something so silly."

Ouma giggles, shaking his head. "It's not silly at all. It's okay to not be ready, Shuichi."

Saihara finds himself blushing at the implication... Feelings that aren't said aloud directly, but they're both very aware of.

"Still, thank you. I... I don't know what I'd do without you, Kichi."

Again, Saihara hadn't said the nickname on purpose. But now, he feels like it's here to stay.

Saihara rubs his eyes, hoping that doing so would somehow keep him from crying.

He feels... comfortable, knowing that Ouma wanted him to take his time. The leader understood that he wasn't ready to talk about his feelings, and he was _okay_ with it.

Saihara sighs happily as the feeling of safety returns to him. His heartrate has steadied, and his breathing has calmed at this point. Ouma is here, and he's not alone.

"....You're an angel..." Ouma whispers after a few quiet moments. Saihara feels his face flush yet again.

"W-What makes you say that?" Saihara asks quietly, giggling a bit awkwardly in embarassment.

"...You're beautiful, and so _good_. You're just like an angel, I don't deserve you." Ouma pulls Saihara closer to him, and Saihara whines. The detective shifts down a bit to bury his face in Ouma's neck.

"I'm no angel, but if I was, you _would_ deserve that." He sighs, breathing in the comforting scent of _Ouma._

"Nishishi, you're my angel, and I'm your devil. See, because I'm an evil mastermind!" Ouma says without thinking.

Saihara winces and grips Ouma's shirt. "Please don't say 'mastermind'.... I don't want to think about that right now."

Ouma frowns apologetically, then moves an arm up to pet Saihara's hair. "I'm sorry, my beloved. What do you want to think about then?" Saihara mumbles something into Ouma's neck. "What was that?"

Saihara moves his face so Ouma can hear him properly.

"You."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Super cheesy, as my fics usually are hdjdjgdhd
> 
> Thank you for reading!! <3


	3. Touch

**Summary for the Chapter:**

>   
>  He was about to confess his feelings... to Ouma Kokichi... who almost certainly already knew of his feelings.
> 
> He was finally going to tell Ouma that the reason he trusted him, was because he'd fallen for him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is even cheesier than the last dmdkdjdkdjd
> 
> I hope you enjoy!! <3

A few days have passed since Saihara spent the night with Ouma, and Saihara's been thinking about him more than _ever_.

That night, the two fell asleep after talking about whatever came to mind for _hours._ Sleepy, half-awake conversations with quiet giggles through the night. They cuddled with one another the entire night.

Things have felt..... _different_ between them ever since.

It was an indirect way of confessing, sure, but Ouma definitely knew of Saihara's feelings for him now. Just as Saihara was aware of Ouma's feelings. He hadn't outright _said_ it yet, but he knew that Ouma knew.

After Saihara found himself panicking in Ouma's arms when Ouma had asked him 'why he trusted him', Ouma made sure that Saihara knew that he could take all the time he needed until he was ready to talk about it.

Lately, he's been spending more time with Ouma than _ever,_ but they haven't talked about their feelings yet, since Saihara hadn't felt ready. Ouma always assured Saihara to take as much time as he needed to before they talked about it, though.

Saihara found it so _endearing_ how Ouma put his feelings first. He never crosses his boundaries, and always makes sure that Saihara is comfortable before making a move like hugging him or anything of the sort.

He didn't mind hugs at all, though, and he's surprised that Ouma hadn't realized it yet. Saihara was so _clingy_ the night they spent together, cuddling as close as possible to him all night! What about that made Ouma think he wouldn't be comfortable with _hugs?_

Regardless, it didn't really bother Saihara all too much. He thought it was sweet how Ouma didn't want to make him uncomfortable, but he just wished that the leader would realize just how _badly_ he craved his touch.

For the past few days, though, Ouma had started flirting with him much more than he used to. Saihara always got embarassed - especially when he did it in front of their friends - but he tried his best to flirt back.

Saihara could tell that Ouma was getting more comfortable with opening up to him, too. He wouldn't admit it to any of his friends like Iruma and Kiibo, but he _definitely_ had a soft spot for the detective - and Saihara thought it was _adorable._

Neither of them had told their friends what was going on between them yet, however. Akamatsu _had_ known about Saihara's feelings for Ouma, but he hadn't tried explaining to her what had happened between the two of them yet.

He hadn't told Momota and Harukawa for a completely different reason, though. Neither of them really got along with Ouma, so Saihara had never even told them about his feelings for the leader.

But he knew that he'd have to tell his friends after he finally talks to Ouma about their feelings.

And tonight, Saihara had decided, would be the night he _finally_ talks to him about it. He finally felt like he was ready.

Ouma had said that he'd be willing to wait as long as it takes for Saihara to be ready to talk about it, and Saihara was ready. Truthfully, it had only been a few days, but he was happy he didn't have to wait too long.

He just hopes that Ouma hadn't been lying the whole time when he's been flirting with him... They haven't directly talked about their feelings, but Saihara _felt_ like they were mutual. It would, however, be _horrible_ if he had completely misread Ouma's intentions.

Part of him was scared to confess because of that very idea. What if Ouma didn't feel the same after all...?

Well, there would be only one way to find out. He needs to confess, no matter how scary it is.

So, the next time Saihara saw Ouma, he had asked him to meet him in the dining hall that afternoon to talk to him. Ouma had agreed, and afternoon was quickly approaching.

Before he knew it, Saihara was standing in front of the door to the dining hall, and he was _terrified._

He was about to confess his feelings... to Ouma Kokichi... who almost certainly already _knew_ of his feelings.

He was finally going to tell Ouma that the reason he trusted him, was because he'd _fallen_ for him.

Saihara swallows anxiously, the door in front of him suddenly seeming _intimidating._

He was really about to do this, wasn't he?

He hadn't even planned on _how_ he was going to tell him yet, in all honestly. He had just realized he was ready, and asked Ouma to meet him so he couldn't give himself a chance to back out.

Now that the time is here, Saihara is _terrified._

He didn't want to lose his courage, though. He had already asked Ouma to meet with him, so it was too late to back out now.

The dining hall was... _right_ in front of him. All he needs to do now is _open that damn door._

Saihara takes a deep breath, trying to calm his nerves. It didn't do much to help.

He decides that he can't wait any longer, or else he might panic and back out.

So, he slowly pushes open the door to the dining hall, and steps inside.

Ouma was sitting at the center table, fiddling with a fork, and resting his head against his arm. When he sees Saihara enter, however, he drops the fork and his face brightens up _._

"Shuichi! Hello, my beloved! Are you ready to plan a murder together? Nishishi!" Ouma grins as he sits up in his seat. Saihara laughs nervously, walking over and taking the seat next to Ouma.

"T-That's not exactly what I was planning on talking about, Kichi..." Saihara replies, hoping that Ouma wouldn't notice how shaky his voice was.

Ouma gasps in fake surprise. "Oh no, is Saihara-chan going to plan _my_ murder instead?! I thought you were on _my_ side, Shuichi!" Ouma scoffs dramatically, raising his arm to cover his eyes in pretend betrayal.

Saihara laughs again, though this time it feels like a more distant laugh. Ouma notices and perks up from before. "Is something on Shuichi's mind?"

Saihara nodded, rubbing his arm shyly as he averted his gaze. "Y-Yeah, that's kind of what I wanted to talk to you about..."

Ouma smiles, scooting his chair a bit closer to Shuichi's. He pulls Saihara's hand off his arm to hold it in his own, drawing the detective's attention back to him.

"What's on your mind, Shumai?" Ouma asks in a gentle voice, and Saihara smiles back at him.

"A-Ah, I'm.... I'm not sure how to say..." Saihara stutters out, now wishing he had planned more ahead of time. "U-Um, it's about... it's about.... you know..."

Saihara blushes, covering his face in embarrassment with his free hand. Ouma giggles, gently squeezing the hand he was holding.

"I can't read your mind, silly! What is it that's got you so nervous?" Ouma looks at him carefully, as if trying to figure out what Saihara was thinking about just by looking at him.

"A-Ah, it's..... the thing.... th-the thing we talked about the other day..." Saihara sighs, looking away from Ouma again as he quietly speaks, "A-About... why I trust y-you...."

Ouma's eyes widen for a moment, then a familiar blank expression falls upon his face. Saihara notices a small blush on his cheeks, though it's barely there.

"Oh? Do you think you're ready to talk about it, Shu?" Ouma asks quietly, running his thumb across the back of Saihara's hand to ease the nerves he now understood why he had.

"Y-Yeah, I think I am.... I-I'm just, Ah-" Saihara breathes carefully, squeezing Ouma's hand back anxiously. "I-I'm really nervous, sorry."

Ouma smiles softly. "Hey, don't be sorry. It's natural to feel nervous about this kinda thing, right?" Saihara nods silently, still not making eye-contact. "Take your time, angel. Tell me what's going through your mind right now."

Saihara's face felt so red, he wanted nothing more than to bury it in his hands out of pure embarrassment.

"I-I... okay. U-Um..." Saihara takes a shallow breath, staring at Ouma's hand holding his as a distraction. "I.... I think, I-I mean - I'm pretty sure y-you know why I trust you, at this point...."

Ouma nods after a moment, a small small on his face.

"I-I think I've made it a bit obvious, b-but - um..." Saihara glances away again, feeling awkward and unsure of how to say what he was thinking. "I... I'm, I've been.... I think about.... _you_ _..._ a-a lot, I mean. I-I think about you _a lot."_

Ouma blushes, giggling, now he looks up to Saihara with a knowing _smirk_. "I knew I was always on your mind! Nishishi!" Ouma says playfully, but then he glances away and quietly adds., "...You know.... I think about you a lot too, Shuichi.... And that's no lie."

Saihara feels his face flush, and he sputters in embarassment. "I-I - I was-! I was k-kind of.... h-hoping that you did... too...."

Saihara whines, moving both hands up to cover his face.

"I-I'm sorry - Th-This is hard for me, y-you know what I'm trying to say, right? I... I-I.... you know...." Saihara buries his face in his hands, feeling like he was ruining what could have been a romantic confession.

Ouma giggles, raising his hands to gently pull Saihara's own off of his face. "I know, I know. I think I know what you're trying to say, Shuichi." The leader smiles at him, his face just as red as Saihara's own felt.

"I trust you, Shuichi. I trust you, because you're brilliant. You're caring, and honest, and sweet. Not to mention how beautiful you are..." Saihara whines, and Ouma giggles before continuing. "I think you know that when I say that, I mean something a bit more than just _trust,_ right?"

Saihara nods slowly, suddenly finding eye-contact a bit easier than before. "I-I.... Y-Yeah, I think I... know what y-you.... mean...."

Ouma smiles, then he raises one of Saihara's hands up and presses a kiss onto the back of it. Saihara _squeaks,_ face _twice_ as red as it already was.

Ouma just giggles. "I don't just trust anybody, you know. There's something more to this. You feel the same, right?"

Saihara nods again slowly.

"I mean that; I wouldn't just trust _anybody,_ you know? I wouldn't be this honest with just _anybody._ I wouldn't hold just _anybody's_ hand." Saihara swallows anxiously, looking up to Ouma's eyes. "What I'm trying to say is..."

"I love you, Shuichi."

Saihara's eyes _widen,_ and his face flushes _bright red._

"I... I love you too.... I-I love you, Kokichi."

It seems like Ouma beat him to his own confession, but he didn't mind at all.

Ouma beams at him, in that sweet, sincere, _happy_ smile. Saihara throws his arms around his neck without a second thought, and he feels Ouma's arms snake around his waist. He's so happy, so relieved, he feels like _crying..._

...Oh, he realizes, he _is_ crying.

Saihara sniffs, rubbing his eyes the best he could as he presses as close as possible to Ouma. Ouma pulls him even closer to him, somehow, but Saihara wouldn't have it any other way.

"I-I... I'm so happy... _Kokichi..."_ Saihara cries quietly, hoping that Ouma wouldn't mind his crying. Saihara didn't expect he'd get this emotional during his confession...

Ouma pulls away just enough to look at the other's face, and Saihara _swears_ he sees a glint of tears in Ouma's own eyes too.

Ouma raises a hand to gently brush Saihara's tears away, and Saihara smiles down at him.

He's safe, he has Ouma, and he's _safe._

Ouma makes him feel _safe,_ and now he feels like he'll never be scared again.

They're trapped in a horrible killing game, but he feels _safe._ He feels _protected._

He doesn't have to be alone anymore.

Ouma leans close to press a gentle kiss to Saihara's cheek. Saihara giggles, cupping Ouma's cheeks to immediately draw him into a _real_ kiss.

Ouma makes a small noise of surprise, but he immediately reciprocates, resting his hands on Saihara's hips as he presses back into the kiss eagerly.

Saihara presses back, pent up feelings finally being released. He wraps his arms around Ouma's shoulders, tilting his head to deepen the kiss. He presses his body as close as he can, wanting to be even _closer._

Cuddling with Ouma, hugging Ouma, holding Ouma's hand - _none_ of it ever satisfied him. He always wanted _more,_ and now, he _finally has_ more. He's _finally_ satisfied with how close he is to Ouma, even if it's just just for the time being.

Ouma pulls away from the kiss slowly, leaning his forehead against Saihara's. Saihara's breathless, and his face is flushed. Ouma's just as breathless and red-faced as he is, though.

"W... Wow." Saihara says quietly, unsure of how else to break the silence.

Ouma starts giggling, and Saihara finds himself joining in. They laugh happily, feelings finally out in the open. They finally talked about it, and Saihara's never been so happy.

After a while, they finally calm down from giggling. Saihara finds himself staring into Ouma's eyes, and it seems like Ouma can't look away either. It feels so cheesy and romantic, in the most cliché and _best_ way there is.

"So." Ouma says, breaking Saihara out of his thoughts. "You like me."

Saihara snorts, shoving Ouma playfully. "You wish."

Ouma's eyes _light up_ in response to the teasing reply.

"How cruel! I just poured my heart out to my beloved Shuichi, and he's rejecting me! I can't believe this - this _heartbreak!"_ Ouma says dramatically, though pulls Saihara closer to him as the ladder giggles.

"Very funny, Kichi. You know I would never reject you..." He laughs, and Ouma giggles back.

"Of course, everyone knows that you can't reject the Ultimate Supreme Leader of evil! I'd have to kill you if you rejected me, you know! Nishishi!" Ouma laughs in his signature laugh, while Saihara rolls his eyes playfully.

"That's a lie and you know it." Saihara says with a smile. Ouma giggles, shaking his head as he rests his chin on the detective's shoulder.

"I've been caught again by the Ultimate Detective, but that's no surprise! Nishishi!"

Saihara sighs contentedly, snuggling against the other boy. "I'm so happy Kokichi... You have no idea."

Ouma smiles, hugging his beloved ever closer to himself. "I'm happy too, Shuichi... And that's the truth."

Saihara shifts nervously against Ouma. "D-Do you... Um..." He exhales a shaky breath. "D-Do you want to... spend the night with me again.... tonight.....?"

Ouma pulls back just enough to look at Saihara's eyes, his familiar unreadable expression returning. Saihara fumbles with his words at he averts his gaze. "Y-You don't have to if you don't want to, I-I just... w-wanted to spend some time with you again..... like we did a few days ago..."

Ouma giggles, leaning in to press a kiss to Saihara's forehead. "Of course, I'd love to stay the night with you again, my beloved!"

Saihara lets out a relieved sigh, finally looking back into Ouma's eyes. "I-I'm glad... Um, do you want to stay at my room this time...?" Saihara asks quietly, feeling like it was the polite thing to ask, since they had stayed at Ouma's room last time.

"Oh? Is Shuichi planning something _naughty_ in his room~?" Ouma teases, and Saihara whines, moving his hands to bury his face in them.

"N-No, of course not...! I-!" Before Saihara can sputter out an embarrassed response, Ouma laughs softly.

"I know, angel, I know. Don't worry, I'm only teasing you." Ouma smiles, and Saihara smiles back after recovering from his initial embarassment. "Want to head there now? It _is_ starting to get a bit late."

Saihara glaces at the clock across the room, only just then realizing that it has indeed gotten fairly late. The nighttime announcement should be playing soon.

"O-Oh, I didn't realize how late it got... Yeah, sure we can head there now."

Saihara hesitates for just a moment before pulling away from Ouma's arms, and they both stand up. 

He's already missing Ouma's touch...

How _embarassing..._

Saihara follows Ouma to the door, and they leave the dining hall together. They take their time in walking to the dormitory, neither of them in a rush at all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry that the ending is so weird to this chapter!
> 
> Originally, i was only going to split this fic into 3 chapters, but chapter 3 ended up being WAY longer than the others - so I'm gonna split it here, just to make it a little shorter!
> 
> Thank you for reading! <3


	4. Together

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He... was really craving Ouma's touch, but he found himself wanting a bit more after that last kiss. He wants.... a different kind of touch. His face flushes a bright red as he changes into his shorts, realizing just what it was he desired

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW: This chapter has explicit sexual content!!
> 
> TW: This chapter has another detailed scene of a panic attack, but it's not nearly as bad as the one in chapter 2

"I bet you're glad it's not as cold as it was last time we did this, Nishishi!" Ouma laughs, nudging Saihara playfully as the detective laughs bashfully.

"I really didn't realize how cold it'd be that night, it was freezing." Saihara smiles fondly at the memory, though still wondering why he didn't think to bring a jacket that night.

"I dunno if I believe you, Shuichi... Maybe that's just an excuse!" Ouma _gasps_ dramatically. "Maybe you were planning the whole thing, just so you could have an excuse to steal my jacket! How cruel!"

Saihara just shakes his head, laughing it off. He still remembers the feeling of when Ouma put his jacket around his shoulders that night... (Although, it _was_ only a few days ago - so it makes sense that he still remembers it so well.)

He thinks back to when Ouma held him while they sat on the benches outside, and the feeling of _warmth_ and _comfort_ of the moment.

Really, he feels that comfortable _anytime_ Ouma holds or even touches him. Maybe that's why he craved his touch so much - Maybe what he _really_ craved was that feeling of protection and safety he gets _whenever_ Ouma holds him in some way.

Saihara feels a bit giddy, thinking of the possibility of them cuddling again tonight when they get to his room. He finds himself feeling a bit impatient, however...

He looks at Ouma as he walks beside him, wondering if the leader had thought about cuddling tonight too. He wonders if Ouma craves his touch as much as the detective craves _his._

...He's feeling _really_ impatient now. He also feels a bit weird as he realizes how often he thinks of touching Ouma...

Saihara decides to be a bit bold, so he slowly loops his arms around one of Ouma's, and hugs the leader's arm. He notices Ouma's face flush, so Saihara nuzzles into his arm bashfully.

"J-Jeez, Saihara-chan sure is clingy...." Ouma comments, laughing perhaps a bit breathlessly. Saihara huffs, clinging to Ouma's arm as they near the dormitory.

"'M not clingy, you're just... really warm." It's a lie, and he's sure Ouma knows it. He's too embarrassed to say the real reason he's so clingy, though.

Once they reach Saihara's dorm, he pulls his keys out of his pocket and unlocks the door with his free hand, letting Ouma open it and lead them in.

Ouma scans the room, a hand placed on his chin as if he were focusing. After a moment, he shakes his head and clicks his tounge. "So disappointing, I thought you'd at least _try_ to keep your room organized, Shuichi..."

Saihara laughs at the obvious lie. His room was perfectly organized and he knew it - In fact, it's almost exactly as it was on the first day they entered this school. Just as organized, with little to no new additions.

He finally lets go of Ouma's arm, shuffling to his closet to slip his shoes off. Ouma follows behind him, and politely does the same.

"Your room's messier than mine, and you _know_ it, Mister Ouma." Saihara says teasingly, playfully flicking Ouma on the head.

Ouma scoffs in fake offense, rubbing his forehead as if Saihara flicking him actually hurt. (It clearly didn't.) "How rude! I think my room's perfectly fine the way it is, _Mister Detective."_

Saihara smiles, giggling as he shuts his closet door. "Sure it is, Kichi. I don't know how you live like that..."

Ouma laughs, shaking his head as Saihara steps beside him. The detective raises his arms, stretching. "I'm not really tired yet, to be honest. Are you?"

"Like I always say-"

"'The Ultimate Supreme leader of evil doesn't need sleep', right?" Saihara interrupts him, quoting what Ouma typically says when he asks if he's tired.

Ouma giggles. "Wow, you know me so well already, my beloved! Jeez, I'm gonna have to work harder so you can't predict the moves I make..." Ouma rubs his chin as if he were pondering.

Saihara tilts his head questioningly, and Ouma _grins._

Suddenly, Saihara yelps as he's pinned against the wall. Ouma smirks at him playfully, taking his wrists in his hands and pinning them beside his head - Although, Ouma holds his wrists _very_ gently, so it's not nearly as intimidating as it probably should have been.

"Didn't predict this, now did you, Mister Detective?" Ouma asks in a low voice, leaning closer to Saihara's face.

"H-Haha, n-no... Y-You certainly caught me off g-guard... M-Mister Ouma..." Saihara replies breathlessly, his face flushing a bright red.

Ouma seems to falter at how nervous Saihara's response is. He leans down to whisper in the other boy's ear, "I'm not making you uncomfortable, am I?"

Saihara feels his heart _swoon_ at Ouma's concern. Before he got to know the leader, he never would have expected him to be this _considerate_ of his feelings. Ouma is just... too _sweet...._

_"N-No,_ not at all, d-don't worry! I-I'm just....." Saihara cuts himself off by biting his lip, averting his gaze shyly.

Ouma smirks, leaning in closer to Saihara's face. "Nervous?" The leader finishes, releasing one of Saihara's hands to cup his chin and gently turn his head to face him.

Saihara swallows nervously, then nods with a shaky smile. "Y-Yeah..."

The leader grins, leaning his face in even closer....

Saihara finds himself staring at his lips, as he often found himself doing without realising it.

Ouma smiles, and finally, _finally_ presses his lips against Saihara's. The detective never realized it was possible to miss someone's lips as much as he missed Ouma's.

The detective _melts_ into the kiss, and it feels so more _relaxed_ than the first one. Their first kiss was nervous, and filled with pent up feelings - but this one was slow, and more... passionate.

Saihara accidentally lets out a whine as Ouma presses further into the kiss, and the bluenette tilts his head in hopes that Ouma'd take the hint that he wanted _more._

It didn't feel like enough, it _still_ didn't feel like enough. Saihara felt like he would never be satisfied with getting so close to Ouma, he still wanted _more._

The leader tentatively slides his tounge into Saihara's mouth, and the detective sighs happily into the kiss. It's still not enough to satisfy him, but it seems to be the closest he could get for the time being.

Ouma releases the other's wrists carefully from his grasp, and Saihara loops his arms around the leader's neck before he realizes it. Ouma lowers his hands to rest on Saihara's waist.

Saihara whimpers as he presses closer to Ouma, hoping to get the ' _more'_ he wanted so badly.

After a short while, Ouma slowly pulls away from the kiss. Saihara _whines_ in disappointment before he could stop himself.

Ouma seems to have reacted well to his little whine, however, since his breathing gets heavy and he leans down to start pressing kisses against Saihara's neck.

Suddenly Saihara wishes he had the idea of wearing a low-collared shirt, since Ouma can only kiss the part of his neck just below his jaw. Saihara's jacket stays on, but he finds himself wishing that Ouma would take it off...

...Because he was feeling hot in the jacket, certainly not because of any other reason.

Saihara sighs, subconsciously pulling Ouma closer to him. Ouma laughs quietly, leaning back up to look at him.

"You're so cute, Shuichi." Ouma whispers, smiling at the detective in front of him. Saihara feels a blush dust over his cheeks.

"S-So are you, Kichi..." He returns the compliment, though shyly averting his gaze. Ouma giggles, pulling away from Saihara.

Yet again, Saihara misses the contact instantly. He feels so, _so_ weird for how often he wishes he could touch Ouma.

"I'm still not tired enough to go to bed, but I'm gonna take my jacket off and stuff, okay? It's just getting kind of hot in here." Ouma says, unclipping his jacket as he speaks.

Wait... ' _hot'?_ Ouma's feeling.... _hot_ too...?

Saihara flushes, but nods silently. He turns away, too embarrassed to watch Ouma get undressed, even if he was just taking a couple layers off.

Ouma giggles. "You don't have to look away, you know. I don't mind you looking, Nishishi!" He says teasingly, but Saihara still doesn't look back.

Saihara eyes his closet, then gets an idea. "...I-I'm gonna get changed into some comfortable clothes too, okay? I'll be right back."

Ouma hums in acknowledgement, and Saihara steps towards his closet. He pulls out a black T-shirt and some grey shorts, and walks over to his bathroom.

As he shuts the door and begins to change, he finds his thoughts... _wandering._

He... was _really_ craving Ouma's touch, but he found himself wanting a bit _more_ after that last kiss. He wants.... a different _kind_ of touch. His face flushes a bright red as he changes into his shorts, realizing just what it was he _desired._

...He had only confessed to Ouma earlier today, wasn't that _too soon_ for him to be having these thoughts...?

In fact, he and Ouma never even discussed what this meant for _them_ yet. Sure, they confessed their romantic feelings, but they didn't officially become boyfriends or _anything._

It was probably _way_ too soon to be thinking of going further with Ouma. He feels shame burn in his stomach, and an embarrassed blush stings at his cheeks.

The nighttime announcement suddenly plays, startling Saihara out of his... _innappropiate_ thoughts. He calms himself down and leaves the bathroom once the announcement finishes.

He freezes when he sees Ouma. The leader was now resting on Saihara's bed, wearing a purple T-shirt - alike the one he wore the last night they hung out together - and his... _boxers._

Ugly, pink and yellow striped _boxers._ Ouma really didn't have a sense of fashion, but he wasn't worried about _that_ right now.

...Great. He had _just_ managed to clear his thoughts of anything innappropiate, and now he sees Ouma in his boxers... how _embarrassing._

Saihara, realizing he had been staring, looks up to Ouma. He tries to forget about the boxers for now and just pretend they're shorts.

Ouma giggles when he sees him, rubbing his neck sheepishly. "I didn't bring any other clothes with me, so I hope you don't mind my lack of pants _,_ Nishishi!"

Great, even better. He was just trying to _forget_ about his 'lack of pants' too. Just... _great._

"U-Um, it's okay. I-It doesn't bother me." Saihara coughs awkwardly, then sits on the bed beside Ouma nervously. He tries to change the subject, so he brings up the first thing that comes to mind. "S-Still not tired yet?"

Ouma lays back onto the bed, and Saihara makes _sure_ to make eye-contact, for once... "Nah, I'd like to spend some more time with my beloved before I try to sleep."

"A-Ah, that sounds nice. I'd like to spend some more time with you too..." Saihara says, rubbing his arm shyly.

Ouma giggles, then sits up. He cups Saihara's cheeks and the detective shudders. "I know something fun we could do..."

Saihara's breath hitches, and he's pulled into another kiss. He presses closer to Ouma without thinking, _desperation_ for his _closeness_ returning.

Ouma wraps an arm around Saihara's waist, and moves the other one to cup his chin. Saihara grasps his shoulders, sighing as Ouma deepens the kiss.

Saihara's mind was wandering to... _in_ _appropriate_ thoughts again, and he whines into the kiss out of embarrassment.

Maybe he was having these thoughts so early on because of how touch-starved he was...? He wants to be as close to Ouma as _possible,_ and what's closer than.... _that?_

He whimpers as Ouma slips his tounge into his mouth. He shouldn't be thinking of _that_ right now, it's so _dirty..._

Suddenly Ouma leans over Saihara, gently pushing him down onto the bed. The detective pulls away from the kiss to gasp, before Ouma's lips are on his again. 

The leader now hovers above him, both hands pressed against the mattress on each side of Saihara's head. Saihara grips onto Ouma's shirt, as a soft moan is drawn out of his lips.

Ouma presses a bit rougher into the kiss, and Saihara whines as Ouma's arms move to hold onto his waist. Saihara wraps his arms around the other's neck, tangling his fingers in the violet locks of his hair.

Ouma pulls away from the kiss slowly, drawing out a disappointed whine from the other boy. Ouma just giggles quietly, leaning down to press kisses onto his neck again.

...Saihara just can't get enough, can he? He just wasn't satisfied, and it was starting to _frustrate_ him. He shouldn't be this... _desperate_ for Ouma to be close to him, it was just... too _early_ to be thinking of _that_ _..._ Wasn't it...?

Ouma starts sucking gently onto the side of Saihara's neck, and Saihara tilts his head to give him better access. He wanted more, and this _was_ more, so why couldn't be just be satisfied?

The detective _gasps_ when Ouma sucks onto a particularly sensitive part of his neck, and Ouma giggles before gently biting down onto that _spot._ Saihara quickly brings a hand to his mouth to muffle a moan threatening to spill out.

Ouma catches on quick, though, so he pulls away slowly.

_"_ _It's quite unfair of you to hide those pretty sounds from me, isn't it, angel?"_

The words send a _shiver_ down Saihara's spine, and he _whimpers_ before he can think twice.

Ouma lets out a low laugh, and he leans down to whisper in Saihara's ear. "I want to hear all the noises you have to make, cutie. _Trust me."_

Saihara feels like he can't _take it_ anymore, so he tugs at the hem of Ouma's shirt with a small whine. _"Kokichi...."_

Ouma raises a brow, looking sown at Saihara with a confused expression. "Something up, Shu?" He frowns, then quietly asking the other in worry, "Do you want me to stop?"

"N-No, no, not at all!" Saihara sputters out suddenly, confusing Ouma further. "I-I just...! I-I want...! _Hhnn..."_ Saihara whines, and buries his face in his hands out of embarrassment.

Ouma giggles, leaning down to brush Saihara's hair out of his face, encouraging the detective to look up from his hands.

"If you want something, you gotta tell me what it is, Shuichi." Ouma whispers with a smile, and Saihara flushes.

"I-I... I-I want.... _you..."_ Saihara finally confesses, immediately clenches his eyes shut out of _fear_ and _regret_.

Ouma's silent for a few agonizingly long moments, then he starts _giggling._ Saihara anxiously opens his eyes without thinking.

"Is that what's got you so flustered, Mister Detective?" Ouma asks gently, moving a hand to pet Saihara's hair.

Saihara averts his eyes, swallowing nervously. 

"Y-Yeah, b-but I know we just, w-we just talked about our feelings just a few hours ago a-and - and it's probably _way_ too soon, and y-you probably think I'm a total creep for wanting this so early on and - I-I-" Saihara takes a deep breath, wincing.

"I-I'm sorry, I shouldn't h-have... have said anything. I-I'm - I'm sorry for being so weird for thinking of it so - s-so early on, I... I swear I'm not a creep, I-I'm sorry, I-"

Ouma hushes Saihara gently, stopping him from anxiously rambling any further. He smiles down at Saihara. " _First of all,_ it is _not_ weird to thing of something like this so early on, okay? We can take things at whatever pace we want, as long as we're both comfortable."

Ouma presses a kiss to Saihara's cheek. _"Second of all,_ you shouldn't be apologizing. You did nothing wrong, my beloved. I asked you what you wanted, and you told me honestly. I'm glad you told me."

He presses another kiss to Saihara's lips, then smiles down at him. _"And finally,_ you are _not_ a creep for thinking of that. But if that _did_ make you a creep, then I guess that'd make me one too..... Since, I was thinking of the same thing, to be honest."

Saihara's eyes widen, and he finally looks up at Ouma. "Y-You.... R-Really?"

Ouma smiles, that one smile that Saihara always knows is genuine. "Yeah, really... I just didn't say anything sooner, because I didn't want to make you uncomfortable."

Saihara smiles back up at Ouma, then pulls him into a hug. "Y-You should have said something before, then I wouldn't have panicked so much when I said it..."

Ouma giggles, wrapping his arms around Saihara and puling him into his chest. "Well, at least we both know what we want now..." Ouma raises a hand to stroke Saihara's hair, hesitating. "So... do you want to go _that far,_ then?"

Saihara giggles shyly, leaning back to look Ouma in the eyes. "I thought that was obvious when I said I wanted you, b-but yes. That's what I want, i-if it's okay with you, Kichi...."

Ouma smiles, nodding without a pause. "Of course it's okay with me, I want you too, Shuichi."

Ouma leans down, and Saihara's pulled into another kiss. This time, it's much _different,_ however. Saihara finally feels _satisfied,_ knowing now that he'd _finally_ be able get as _close as possible_ to Ouma.

He'd finally get that _touch_ he'd be _craving_ all night.

The kiss is deepened quickly, and Saihara assumes that means Ouma's feeling just as desperate as he is. Saihara lets out a quiet moan as Ouma slips his tounge back into his mouth, and Saihara _melts_ into the kiss.

Ouma's hands wander, pushing up Saihara's shirt just enough to brush over his sides. Cold hands rub at his waist, and Saihara _gasps_ into the kiss. The detective tugs at Ouma's shirt, gently pulling him _closer_ by the fabric.

Anticipation makes Saihara feel like he's shaking - and he whines as Ouma's hands under his shirt trail further up to his chest, then back down to his sides. He wants _more,_ he _still_ wants _more,_ he _can't wait_ much longer.

Saihara's back arches involuntarily when Ouma rubs his thumb over his nipple. The feeling unfamiliar, but not necessarily unpleasant. _Actually,_ Saihara thinks as Ouma rolls the bud under his fingertips, _it's_ very _pleasant._

Ouma slowly pulls away from the kiss, and Saihara pants breathlessly. Ouma's breathing heavy too, but he appears to keep fairly composed. The leader leans down to suck at Saihara's neck, and this time it definitely feels like it'll leave a mark. He doesn't mind, though, not when it feels this _good._

It isn't until Ouma slips his leg between Saihara's that he realizes a tent is already growing present in his shorts. He _gasps_ as Ouma carefully presses his knee against his lower region, and the leader giggles quietly against his neck as Saihara hesitantly pushes back against the feeling.

Saihara lets out a whine as Ouma pulls away, but the leader just hushes him softly. Ouma taps a hand against Saihara's waist, pushing his shirt up a bit more. The bluenette averts his eyes as he feels Ouma stare down at his body.

Ouma smiles. "Mind if I take this off, sweetheart?" He tugs carefully at Saihara's shirt, in signal to what he meant.

Saihara blushes and nods silently, still refusing to make eye-contact. Ouma takes the confirmation, gently slipping Saihara's shirt off as the detective raises his arms to asist. Once the shirt is off and set to the side, Ouma runs his hand along the now-exposed skin slowly, marveling at the sight of Saihara.

"You're so cute, Shuichi." Ouma giggles quietly, leaning down to press a kiss to the center of the boy's chest. Saihara resists the urge to cover himself, and just whines in embarassment.

The detective finally looks back to Ouma as the leader trails kisses across his chest, trailing down in a line to his naval and back up. Saihara giggles quietly, before raising a hand to cautiously tug at the hem of Ouma's shirt.

The leader looks up to him with a playful smirk. "Is there something you want from me, my beloved?" Saihara nods with a light huff.

"Want your shirt off... Wanna see you too..." Saihara mumbles, pouting at the boy above him. 

Ouma's face flushes, but he just laughs as he pulls his own shirt off and drops it on the floor carelessly. Saihara doesn't bother to complain, however. He just lets a hand trail down Ouma's chest as he looks at the other.

Ouma's in very good shape for his height, Saihara notices, though he isn't exactly muscular. His arms were toned just a bit with muscle, though he's still fairly skinny. Saihara thinks he's the perfect size, however, and he wouldn't have it any other way.

He runs his fingers gently over the soft hairs under Ouma's naval, noticing that the fuzz was just a bit lighter that the purplenette's hair. It wasn't a ton of hair, though, just a line from below his naval that led down to.... _elsewhere._

Ouma giggles after a few moments, breaking Saihara out of his thoughts. The detective flushes when he realizes he was caught staring.

"Like what you see?" Ouma asks teasingly, running a hand through his hair. Saihara averts his eyes and nods, though pouting shyly as he does so. A blank expression falls back upon the leaders features. "...How are you _so,_ _damn,_ _cute,_ _Shuichi?"_

Saihara whimpers at Ouma's _low_ voice, and he feels his length _straining_ against his shorts. Ouma leans back over him, a mischievous look in his eyes. 

Before Saihara can think twice, Ouma shifts himself down just a bit. Now, the detective feels Ouma's own _hard_ length _press_ against him, instead of the leader's knee... Saihara _whines_ as Ouma cautiously grinds against Saihara's lower region, as if testing the waters.

Shyly, a squeak slips out of Saihara's mouth, and he bites his lip in hopes to muffle his sounds. It's much harder to stifle his moans, he finds, as Ouma grinds more confidently against him.

The detective _cries out_ suddenly - much to his embarrassment - his arms flailing to Ouma's back. Saihara's nails dig into his back, but the leader doesn't seem to mind. It fact, it only seems to _encourage_ Ouma - as he leans down to _hungrily_ press his lips against Saihara's.

Saihara can't hide his moans anymore, not when Ouma's rocking his hips against Saihara's like this. He cries into the kiss as Ouma softly bites onto his lower lip.

Ouma's hands make their way back to Saihara's waist, and tentatively they slip under the waistband of the bluenette's shorts. Saihara shivers at the feeling of his fingertips brushing his sides. He'd never realized how sensitive he was there... it's a bit ticklish.

Saihara pulls away from the kiss with a gasp, as Ouma's hands brush further back - nearing his _ass._ Ouma smiles, slowly drawing his hands back out from under his shorts. Saihara huffs in disappointment, and the leader giggles above him

"Feeling a bit impatient, Saihara-chan?" He asks quietly, letting his hands rest on Saihara's waist for now. 

Saihara _whines._ "O-Obviously..."

The supreme leader laughs, lowering his hands to Saihara's waistband again. "...How about I take these off, then?"

Saihara can't nod fast enough, so Ouma giggles quietly. The leader bites his lip as he slips the other's shorts down and off his legs.

Saihara presses his thighs together, feeling shy. He's just so.... _exposed,_ he couldn't help feeling so embarrassed. The nervous fluttering in his stomach doesn't make him want to stop at all, however.

A small, endearing, smile finds it's way to Ouma's lips, and Saihara blushes. The leader trails his hands down to slowly run over Saihara's thighs. "You're so beautiful, Shuichi... So _soft..."_

Ouma rubs his thumb across the side of Saihara's thigh, and the detective flinches a bit. "T-Tickilish..." He explains quietly, face flushing as the purplenette giggles.

"...God, you'r _e so_ soft, Shu... Do you like, use some fancy lotion or something?" Ouma marvels quietly, and Saihara giggles as he shakes his head.

"N-Not exactly..." He answers indirectly, as Ouma shifts down to press a kiss to Saihara's thigh. "J-Jeez, do you have a thing for thighs, or s-something?" Saihara teases, half jokingly as the leader laughs.

"I didn't think I did until I saw yours, Mister Detective." Ouma answers playfully.

A hand trails up to palm him through his shorts, and Saihara's _gasps_ softly. He grips the sheets of the bed as he clenches his eyes shut.

Ouma hesitates when he sees this, "...Hey, you sure you wanna do this? It's really okay if you're not ready, you know." Ouma assures, carefully moving his hand away.

"H-Huh? N-No, no, I want this! I... _Haahh..._ I-I really want this, _Kokichi..."_ Saihara hurriedly takes Ouma's hand and cautiously draws it close to where it was before, though not against him again. "I want this, I-I want _you,_ Kokichi, _s-so_ much...."

Ouma's eyes widen.

"F-Fuck, me too. _God,_ you have no idea how much I want you, Shuichi." Ouma's breathing gets heavy, and he laughs as if it's funny. "Y-You drive me _crazy,_ I've wanted you for _so long."_

Saihara _flushes_ a deep red, and he feels his own eyes widen involuntarily. He nods silently to signal Ouma to continue.

"Y-You... You have no _idea_ what you do to me. _Fuck..._ " Ouma presses his hands against the mattress, hovering above Saihara. "You have.... _no idea_ what I want to do to _you,_ Shuichi."

Saihara's breathing gets shaky, and he nods eagerly up to Ouma without thinking. "I-I... _Hahh -_ K-Kokichi, _please."_ He moves his arms to grip onto Ouma's shoulders, desperation taking over. "Please, _p-please,_ I-I... I _need_ you..."

Saihara _cries out_ as Ouma presses his hand down against his clothed, _aching_ length. Ouma exhales shallowly. "H-How? How do you need me?" The sentence almost doesn't make sense, but Saihara knows exactly what he means.

_"K-Kokichi,_ P-Please, I-I need you... I need you to- _"_ Saihara leans his head in Ouma's chest as the leader starts _slowly_ stroking him through his boxers. "I-I need you to.... _F-Fuck me..._ _Hhnn...!"_

Ouma's breath hitches in his throat, and he stops stroking him for a moment. Saihara worries for a moment that he's asked for too much, until Ouma leans down to quietly ask him, "D-Do you have lube?"

He nods quickly, leaning over to open the drawer beside his bed. Ouma releases his clothed length, to shuffle through the drawer. He grabs the bottle of lube the moment he finds it, and drops it onto the bed after closing the drawer.

Ouma takes a deep breath, as if to calm his own nerves, before resting his hands back on Saihara's hips. "Can... Can I take these off, angel?" Ouma's voice is a bit shaky at this point, and that's how Saihara can tell he's getting impatient too. He nods _eagerly._

Finally, Ouma slips Saihara's boxers off, never looking away for a second in the process. He drops the boxers onto the floor without glancing away.

Saihara's length is finally exposed to the cool air, and he averts his gaze nervously.

_"...Beautiful,_ Shuichi. You're so _beautiful,_ God..." Ouma trails his hand up his thigh, at an _agonizingly slow_ pace. "C-Can I touch you?"

_"P-Please."_ Saihara breathes out, nodding without any hesitation.

Ouma slowly takes Saihara's hard member into his fist, carefully starting to jerk it as the detective lets out quiet gasps of pleasure. He's not the largest in size, perhaps even a little smaller than average - but Ouma thinks it's cute.

Precum eases the friction as Ouma speeds up his pace, never taking his eyes off Saihara as the boy whines _breathlessly_ in pleasure.

_"Hhaah_ \- K-Kokichi, _m-more-!"_ Saihara cries out suddenly, feeling impatient for the _'closeness'_ he desired. _"K-Kichiii..._ I can't _wait_ any longer, _p-please~"_

"You want more, baby?" Ouma asks teasingly, seeming to have found his composure again. He pumps Saihara's length faster, as the boy below him cries out. "T-Tell me what you want, angel."

"I-Inside me... _Hhnn,_ I w-want you inside me..." Saihara's cries, burying his face in Ouma's chest out of embarrassment. _"Please..."_

Ouma slows his jerks down to a halt, as Saihara huffs in dissatisfaction. Ouma giggles quietly, moving his hand to brush Saihara's bangs out of his face. "It's okay, baby... I'll take care of you."

Ouma leans back slowly, and Saihara eyes his boxers in frustration, realizing that Ouma hadn't taken his off yet. "F-First, you should t-take off those ugly boxers..."

Ouma laughs quietly before gasping, pretending to be hurt. "How rude! Does my beloved hate them _that_ much?"

Saihara huffs, nodding with a pout. Ouma giggles before slipping his briefs off slowly, and Saihara can't tear his eyes away.

Saihara's face _flushes_ as Ouma's hard length is finally exposed. The leader drops his boxers unceremoniously onto the floor, giggling when he notices Saihara staring.

Ouma was bigger than Saihara was, he was at least sure of that. He _might've_ been a bit larger than average, as a matter of fact. The hairs from below his belly-button trailed down, almost framing his member. It wasn't too much hair at all, though. Just enough for Saihara to find himself staring at it perhaps a bit _too_ long.

"Like what you see?" Ouma asks teasingly, finally drawing Saihara's attention away from his nether region. Saihara flushes, before nodding shyly.

Ouma laughs endearingly, before carefully leaning back over Saihara. He presses a hand against the mattress beside the bluenette's head and smiles down at him.

Before Saihara realizes it, Ouma picks the bottle of lube back up from where he'd left it. Saihara feels a wave of anticipation run through his body.

"So, has Saihara-chan done this before?" Ouma asks a bit _too_ casually, popping the lid of the bottle open.

"A-Ah, No... I'm a virgin, s-so-"

"That's not what I meant, silly." Ouma interrupts as he squirts a bit of lube onto his fingers. "I mean, why did Shuichi _just so happen_ to have lube in his room?" Ouma raises the bottle in his hand to gesture towards it. "It's half-empty too. I wonder what Shuichi has been up to in his free-time~?"

Finally realizing what Ouma was implying, Saihara buries his face in his hands with a burning blush. He groans out of embarrassment, and Ouma just giggles.

_"Welllll?_ Are you gonna answer my question, Saihara-chan?" Ouma flashes a teasing grin. Saihara raises his arms to grasp the other's shoulders.

"I-If you're asking if I've.... used it on myself, th-then, yeah..." Saihara admits, averting his gaze as Ouma lowers his now-lubed fingers.

Ouma takes Saihara's leg under his free hand and moves it for ease-of-access. He smiles down mischievously at the detective. _"How so?"_

"H-Huh?" Saihara asks in confusion and a bit out of surprise. He averts his gaze again bashfully. "C-C'mon, Kichi, y-you know what I mean..."

Saihara's breath hitches in his throat as Ouma lowers his hand in between the detective's legs. He teasingly rubs two lubed fingers against Saihara's entrance. "I dunno, I might _not_ know what you mean, Shuichi. I think you should tell me, just in case I _don't."_

Saihara _gasps_ as Ouma starts to slowly ease two fingers inside of him. Ouma grins down at him. "Shu, answer my question, baby. Why'd you have lube conveniently in your bedside drawer?"

Saihara _whines_ out as Ouma's fingers start to gently pump inside him. He struggles to get the words out to answer Ouma, too caught up in a daze of pleasure. "I-I - _Hhnnn..._ I use it to... d-do _this_ sometimes... to myself.... _Hhaahh..."_

Ouma smiles, pressing a kiss to Saihara's cheek. "There you go, angel. Good boy..." Ouma starts spreading his fingers in a scissors motion inside of him. The detective _cries out_ as Ouma's fingers accidentally brush against a certain _spot._ "Oh? You like that, sweetheart?"

Saihara whines, rocking his hips without thinking. Ouma's fingers _curl up_ against his prostate, rubbing against it and carefully adding a third finger.

"...You're so cute, Shumai... You're doing so good." The leader leans down to press a kiss onto Saihara's cheek as he thrusts his fingers inside of him at a steady pace. "So beautiful.... You feel good, angel?"

Saihara nods quickly, too caught up in the feeling to form a verbal response. Ouma giggles, slowing his fingers down to a stop. Saihara grumbles as Ouma slowly pulls his fingers out of him.

"Don't worry, Shu. I'll make you feel even better..." Ouma assures, leaning back and picking the lube bottle back up.

The leader squirts a bit more lube onto his hands, before reaching down to stroke himself. Saihara can't take his eyes away, his breathing getting shallow as he watches Ouma lube himself up. The detective feels his own cock throbbing in anticipation, but he resists the urge to touch himself.

Ouma laughs breathlessly when he notices Saihara staring, and he releases himself. He moves back over to Saihara and leans above him.

Saihara wraps his legs around Ouma's waist without thinking, and Ouma lets out a quiet gasp as he's pulled closer to Saihara. He giggles when Saihara averts his gaze, and the leader raises a hand to pet the boy's hair.

"Beautiful, Shuichi... I can't tell you enough how beautiful you are." Ouma presses a soft kiss against Saihara's lips, and suddenly the detective finds himself _craving_ to be closer yet again.

"K-Kokichi... P-Please..." He wraps his arms around Ouma's neck, looking up to him with a heavy blush upon his face. "I need... _Hhnn,_ I need you..."

Ouma smiles, a blush dusting over his own cheeks. The leader guides his cock to press against Saihara's entrance, though not yet pushing into him.

Ouma hesitates as he looks down at the other boy, and he quickly asks him, "Hey... You sure you're ready for this, angel?" He leans down to press a gentle kiss to Saihara's cheek. "I want this, but only if you're _sure_ you do too."

"I-I'm sure, I promise. I want this so much, Kichi..." Saihara pulls Ouma into a kiss, hoping that would further reassure him.

After a moment, Ouma pulls away with a smile, then nods in confirmation. "Okay. I'm gonna start then, alright, Shumai?" He leans down to press a few kisses onto the side of Saihara's neck, and the detective smiles endearingly.

"Of course..." He answers, and Ouma smiles against his neck.

After a moment, Saihara _finally_ feels Ouma start to push into him, slowly easing himself inside the warmth. Saihara lets out a soft gasp, not used to something so big being inside him. It's not a bad feeling at all, though, just something new to him.

Ouma's hips soon meet Saihara's, and finally, _finally..._ Saihara's satisfied.

Ouma's finally inside of him, he's _finally_ as close to Ouma as he can possibly get. _This_ is the feeling he's been wanting so _badly._ He's finally filled with _Ouma,_ he's finally _his._

Saihara's craved his touch and closeness for so long, it's like an _addiction._ And now, he finally has as much of it as he can get. Ouma's _inside_ of him - that's _more_ than just being _close._

He's _finally satisfied._

Saihara smiles up at him, his heart _fluttering_ as he looks up at the other boy. "I love you."

Ouma's face flushes a _bright_ red, and he shyly smiles back at him. "I love you too, baby....." Ouma leans close to kiss him, and Saihara tangles his fingers in the violet curls of Ouma's hair.

Pulling away just enough to look into his eyes, Ouma looks at him adoringly. "How are you feeling, Shumai?"

Saihara giggles, burying his face in Ouma's chest. _"A-Amazing..."_ He presses a kiss to Ouma's chest. "F-Feels so good... I'm so _happy..."_

"I'm glad you feel the same, Shu... I'm so glad I get to share this feeling with you." Ouma adjusts his arms so he can hold Saihara against his chest.

Saihara's feeling impatient again, so he pulls away from Ouma's chest to look up at him. "Move.... Y-You can move.... _Please..."_

Ouma nods slowly, and he obliges.

Pulling out to the head and slowly pushing himself back into Saihara, Ouma starts rocking himself into the boy under him. Saihara _gasps,_ his nails digging into Ouma's shoulders.

Ouma lets out a shaky sigh of pleasure, leaning down to litter kisses against the side of Saihara's neck. Saihara starts letting out small gasps and quiet moans of pleasure, and the initial discomfort of being so full disappears.

"G-Good?" Ouma asks quietly, and Saihara nods hurriedly.

_"Hhaah -_ Y-Yeah, _Yes,_ S-So good - _Hhnn~"_ Saihara quietly cries out, burying his face back into Ouma's chest, and the leader wraps his arms around the other's waist.

Saihara _whines_ as Ouma speeds up, his thighs trapping Ouma between his legs. Ouma doesn't seen to mind, though. The shorter boy groans, pulling Saihara even closer to himself.

"F-Fuck, Shuichi, Y-You're so cute - Haahh - _fuck..."_ Ouma _growls_ out through gritted teeth, lowering his hands to hold onto Saihara's hips. "S-So tight, Y-You feel _amazing -_ _Sh-Shit,_ Shu _\- Hhnn..."_

Saihara grasps onto Ouma's shoulders, _whining_ as Ouma fucks into him. "S-So good - _Kichiiii~_ _H-Hhaah,_ I need more... _P-Please,_ _K-Kichi...!"_ Saihara lets out a broken cry, his cock _achingly_ hard.

Ouma shifts just a bit, and suddenly Saihara gasps and _cries out_ as Ouma pounds _right_ into his prostate. _"There!_ Th-There - _A-Aahh~_ Please, please, _please,_ Kichi~!"

Ouma lets out a choked groan as Saihara tightens around him, the detective now rocking his own hips to meet Ouma's thrusts. He quickens his pace without hesitation, making sure to hit that sweet spot of Saihara's... _E_ _very. Single. Time._

"K-Kokichi - _Aaahh~_ I-I love you, I love you s-so _much_ \- _Hhnnn-!"_ Saihara manages to get out through his moans, leaning his head back to press a kiss to the corner of Ouma's mouth.

"F-Fuck, I-I love you too, I love you, _Shuichi..._ _Hhnn..."_ Ouma groans back, before leaning down to press his lips back against Saihara's.

Saihara gasps into the kiss, throwing his arms around Ouma's neck. The leader brings a fist up to start pumping Saihara's length in time with his thrusts, and the detective _cries_ into the kiss in _ecstacy._

Suddenly pulling away from the kiss, Saihara throws his head back in bliss with a loud whine. _"H-Haaahh!_ K-Kokichi I'm-!! I-I'm _close,_ I'm _so_ _close_ \- _A-Aah~!!"_ Ouma leans down to kiss his neck again, pumping the other's length faster as he feels his own climax approaching.

"F-Fuck, me too, Shuichi - _Haah..."_ Ouma groans out, adjusting his hold on Saihara's hips so he can fuck _deeper_ into the other boy.

"I'm - I-I'm _gonna-!!"_ Saihara tries to get out through broken moans. Ouma nods in understanding, leaning down to lean his head against Saihara's shoulder.

"C-Come for me, baby. _Hhnn..."_ Ouma quietly tells him, and Saihara is _finally_ pushed over the edge.

Saihara cums in long spurts with a final cry, arching his back as his seed hits his stomach. 

With only a few more thrusts, Ouma is pushed over his own edge. He cums inside Saihara, slowly riding out their orgasms for a few more moments.

Finally, Ouma lets himself collapse on top of Saihara, and they both pant in loss of breath.

Saihara tangles his fingers in Ouma's hair as he slowly comes down from the pleasurable high. He can feel his heart racing, and he's very aware of his own heavy breathing. 

Ouma breathlessly presses kisses onto Saihara's chest as he attempts to bring himself back to the present. Saihara pets Ouma's hair gently.

"Hahh... Th-ThAt was-" Saihara's voice cracks as he tries to breaks the silence, and Ouma starts giggling. Saihara finds himself joining in easily, feeling too happy to be embarrassed about his voice breaking.

"Y-You're so damn cute, Shuichi, _Jeez-"_ Ouma manages to get out through his giggles, he leans back to press his lips against Saihara's, and the detective happily reciprocates.

Slowly pulling away from the kiss, Ouma leans back. He smiles down at Saihara, and the detective shyly smiles back. "I love you, Kokichi." Saihara says again, unable to help himself.

Ouma smiles even bigger, with that same smile that Saihara _always_ knows is sincere. "I love you too, Shuichi."

Saihara leans up, using his arms to support him. He presses a kiss to Ouma's nose with a quiet, happy giggle. "That was amazing, Kichi... Thank you."

"Silly, I should be the one thanking you. That was _incredible."_ Ouma replies with a playful smile, resting his arms on Saihara's waist. 

He blushes suddenly when he realizes he's still inside Saihara. "A-Ah, Um, S-Sorry for coming inside you. I probably should've asked first, heh..." Ouma scratches the back of his neck nervously.

Saihara giggles, shaking his head. "It's okay, I didn't mind. I-I guess it kind of makes the mess easier to clean up, so..."

Ouma sighs with a smile, then raising a hand to tuck Saihara's hair behind his ear. "I'm glad we did this, you have no idea how long I've wanted this." Ouma admits quietly.

"And you don't know how much I've wanted _you."_ Ouma _blushes,_ nearly choking in embarrassment. Saihara just laughs lovingly. "It's the truth, Mister Ouma." He teases, running his hand through Ouma's hair.

Ouma laughs shyly at the nickname. "J-Jeez, you're just too adorable, Shuichi. It's so unfair..." He rolls his eyes playfully as Saihara kisses his cheek. "H-Hey, I should help you clean up now."

"Yeah, you should." Saihara teases, giggling.

Ouma shakes his head with a laugh, leaning back to sit up fully. "I'm gonna pull out now, okay, baby?"

Saihara nods in affirmation, and Ouma carefully pulls his slowly softening length out of the other boy. Saihara _shivers_ as he feels a bit of still-warm cum drip out of his ass and onto his inner thigh. Ouma blushes and glances away, as if that were the polite thing to do. (It might have been, but Saihara wouldn't have minded him looking.)

Ouma breaks the silence after a few moments, giggling. "Nishishi, and I thought you said you _weren't_ planning anything naughty when I asked you earlier, Shuichi! How _lewd!"_

Saihara _groans_ and buries his face in his arms. _"K-Kichi...._ you _know_ I wasn't planning this...."

Ouma laughs, nodding. "Mhmm, but you don't regret it, _riiiight?"_

Saihara shakes his head quickly. "N-Not at all! I'm really, _really_ glad we did this, Kichi." Saihara assures with a blush, and Ouma nods.

"Me too, I'm really glad too, Shu..." Ouma smiles, then pats Saihara's thigh gently. "Hey, I still gotta get you cleaned up. I'll go grab some towels real quick, 'kay, sweetheart?

Saihara blushes as Ouma stands up. "O-Oh, yeah... Thank you, Kokichi."

Ouma grins, before making his way to Saihara's bathroom.

Saihara sighs happily, letting himself lay back down onto his bed. He almost rests his arms over his stomach, until he remembers the mess still covering his lower region...

He blushes and ignores it, blissfully processing everything that had just happened.

He finally.... feels _satisfied._ He finally reached the closeness that he _wanted_ with Ouma, the closest he could possibly get. He's not _frustrated_ anymore at the lack of touch. Ouma's in the bathroom, but he _finally_ feels okay with him not touching him.

He's not alone anymore, he has _Ouma._ He finally, _finally_ feels _safe._

Suddenly, Saihara's eyes _widen._ He remembers that he and Ouma _still_ haven't talked about.... their _relationship_ yet.

He just... lost his virginity to Ouma. He just had _sex_ with Ouma, and told him he loved him _multiple times_. What does this mean for them....?

He sighs, dissatisfaction returning - though this time it's a different kind of dissatisfaction. It's not because he's not touching Ouma, but because he's not _Ouma's._

All he needed to do was ask to be his, right? He wanted to be boyfriends, so all he had to do is ask, right?

His anxiety returns... but strangely enough, it's not as bad as before. He felt.... more assured this time. Still nervous, but not as _terrified_ as last time he talked to Ouma about something as important as this.

He's okay. He can do this.

Suddenly the bathroom door opens, and Ouma returns with two towels.

...Okay, maybe can't do this.

Saihara nervously sits up on the bed as Ouma sits next to him. "I wanted to get you water too, but we'll have to go to the dining hall for that. I'm not gonna make you drink tap water, Nishishi!"

Saihara lets out a shaky laugh as Ouma gently moves one of his legs, bringing a damp towel to clean their mess. "T-Thank you, Kokichi."

Ouma pauses, glancing up at Saihara. "Everything okay, Sai?" He asks gently, taking the towel to wipe between Saihara's thighs.

"A-Ah? Yeah, Y-Yeah I'm fine." He's not 'fine'. He wants to talk about what they are, but he's lost his nerve. "I-I'm good, I'm good."

Saihara feels his heart start to race. Not in the good way, like when Ouma first called him cute by accident. It's in the bad way, like when he had a panic attack when Ouma first asked him why he trusted him.

"I'm - I-I'm... okay." He's losing touch, he can't say it. His heart is pounding. "I... I-I'm....."

Suddenly, Ouma cups his cheek and draws his attention back to the present. His eyes focus on Ouma's, the violet swirls of his eyes bringing him back to reality.

"Hey, you're not okay. It's okay to be scared, whatever it is that's scaring you. It's okay." Ouma presses a gentle kiss to Saihara's nose. "Talk to me, Shuichi. How are you feeling?"

Saihara's heartrate slows down, it's not racing anymore. He can hear Ouma, he can see him. He's there.

He's okay.

He's _okay._

"I... I'm... I-I'm nervous. I-I want...." He brings a hand up to hold the one that's cupping his cheek. "I want... to ask you something. I want to... s-say something."

His heart beats a bit faster, but it's not because he's scared. It's not because he's panicking now.

It's because of... Ouma. In a good way. His heart has sped up, but it's not bad. It's okay.

Ouma smiles softly, stroking Saihara's cheek with his thumb. "Whatever it is, you don't have to push yourself if you're not ready. It's okay, Shu."

Saihara smiles shakily. "I want to say it, though... I'm ready, I'm ready this time. It's okay."

Ouma hesitates before nodding, "...Okay, if you're sure you're ready."

Saihara takes a deep breath, but he doesn't close his eyes. He's nervous, but he's not scared to see Ouma's eyes when he says it. He's safe.

"I... I want us to be boyfriends." He finally says it, and it's okay. He's okay, and Ouma's face says he's okay too.

Ouma smiles that genuine smile of his that only Saihara gets the pleasure of seeing.

"Me too. I want that more than anything, Shuichi..." He takes both of Saihara's hands in his own, and takes a shaky breath. Ouma's nervous too, but it's _okay._

"Shuichi, I'll ask you properly." Ouma says gently. "...Will you be my boyfriend?"

Saihara smiles, a bright, _happy,_ smile, and he feels himself tear up. "Of _course."_ He throws his arms around Ouma's neck, and Ouma holds him against his chest.

He's okay. His hearts still beating fast, but it's not because he's scared. He's happy, he's so happy. He's safe, He's _safe._

Ouma's arms are wrapped protectively around him, and Saihara cries into his chest. He hears Ouma sniffle, and maybe he's crying too.

Ouma's here, Ouma's here and so is Saihara. He's finally Ouma's, and Ouma's finally his. He's not alone anymore.

He's close to Ouma.He's with him and he's not going anywhere.

They're trapped in the ultimate academy for gifted juveniles, but he's not scared anymore. He has Ouma.

He has Ouma.

He has _Kokichi._

He has Kokichi, and Kaede, and Maki, and Kaito. He's not alone. He has his friends, and his _boyfriend._

They're going to get out of here. Together. He _knows they will._

_"We're going to get out of here."_ Kokichi whispers as Shuichi sobs against his chest. That's how he knows they'll get out of here. _"I'll make sure of it, I promise, my beloved."_

Kokichi promises to him that they'll get out of here, and Shuichi _knows_ it isn't a lie. He knows he means it, and he knows that they _will_ get out of here. Together.

He's not alone. He'll never be alone again, not when he has Kokichi. They'll make sure to protect eachother, and they'll never have to be alone. It's okay.

He's scared, but it's okay. It's okay because he's not alone.

He's not alone, because he knows Kokichi's scared too.

They're scared, but they aren't alone. They have eachother, and it's going to be okay. They'll _make_ it okay.

Shuichi has his friends, and his lover. 

He'll make sure to end this killing game, he'll make sure nobody has to suffer.

He's scared, but he's not going to let that stop him.

He's scared, but so is Kokichi.

And Kokichi never lets his fear put a stop to him either.

Neither of them will let their fear stop them again.

He'll end this killing game. He'll end this killing game with Kokichi.

He's going to be okay, even if he's scared.

He's going to be okay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WOO that was a long chapter!
> 
> How was it?? I was experimenting a lot with my writing style while writing this, if you couldn't tell
> 
> I wanted to try writing a bit of angst, fluff, AND smut, all in the same fic! I hope it balanced out okay!
> 
> Anyways, thank you so much for reading!! I know this was a lot longer than my fics usually are, so thank you so much for reading to the end!
> 
> I really hope you enjoyed!! <3 <3


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